Man gets home, tells wife “Get me a beer before it starts”.
He drinks it then says “Quick get me another before it starts”.
Again she gets it, he drinks it and says “Another before it starts”.
She says “Listen here you lazy fat cunt, you walk in, sit down and start barking orders...”
He says “Fuck me it’s started”
Organzola
Don't worry. Change is coming.
He stumbles upon them in his parents closet and begins looking through them. As soon as he begins searching he hears the front door open. He panics and hides in the closet. Then his mom and a man(not his father) come into the bedroom and begin to get freaky. Then the front door opens again and it’s the father. The mom’s lover panics and hides in the closet. As the kids parents are talking the boy talks to the man.

Kid: “It’s dark in here.”
Man: “Sure is.”
K: “You know I have a baseball glove I’ll sell you for $300.”
M: “what I’m not buying your glove”
K: “ You know my dad is right out there and all I have to do is scream.”
M: “Alright fine” and he buys the glove

A week later the same situation happens again and the man and kid are in the closet again.
K: “It’s dark in here”
M: “Sure is”
K: “You know I have a baseball”
M: remembering the last time “Alright how much?”
K: “$200”
The man pays the kid and when the coast is clear they go about their day.

A week later the dad asks the son “Hey, let’s go play some catch.”
K: “I can’t I sold my glove and ball”
D: “You sold it! For how much?”
K: “$500”
D: “Whoa that is too much! I can’t believe you would con your friends like that. We are going to church so you can go and confess.”

They drive to the church and the dad throws the kid into the confessional and orders him to tell the priest what he’s done and slams the door.
After a minute of silence
Kid: “It’s dark in here.”
Priest: “Not this time you little shit. You’re in my closet now.”
Hay Hay Hay
Truth
The others are the part of the HR.
I’ve been Reddit-free for 72 days.

Wait...

**SHIT!**
The devil greets him a days “I’m feeling mighty generous, so I’ll let you decide what you’re going to do for the next 1000 years.” After touring him through the torture chamber and lava pits they come to a grotesque man receiving a blowjob from a beautiful young woman. The man says “Oh yeah, now this is what I’m talking about.” The devil asks “ Are you sure, this is something you’ll have to do for 1000 years and requires a lot of stamina.” The man replies “Oh yeah, I can do this for 1000 years.” The devil nods and walks up to the beautiful woman and says “You can go now, we found your replacement.”
His name is Nickelretarded
Apparently, I was “Ser Cumcised.”
About half way.
I believe in noshing.
You can unscrew a lightbulb
A poultry-geist