Sit on his face.
I am a 24 year old virgin
But it’s reception was always poor
Make me one with everything
So he decided to take the five-finger discount.
Nun.
When I confronted her she said, “For $10, what did you expect? Lobster?”
So, I offered my brother a million dollars to undergo an operation that would give him erectile dysfunction, so his penis would never get erect/rise up.

After two minutes of tense silence, he replied, "Well, I cant turn that down now."
I'm getting my house painted
Too many cheetahs.
There are many downsides.

But their flag is a big plus.
I had ordered soup for an appetizer, and when the waitress brought the soup out, she had her thumb in it. I thought well this is weird.

Ordered the Alfredo Chicken and when that lady brought out my entree, her thumb was in it again!

Getting a little frustrated, my wife was able to cool me down a little bit and relax with some coffee for dessert. When she brought that out HER THUMB was in it again!

I’m furious at this point, I scream, “WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU! EVERY TIME YOU BRING OUT MY FOOD YOU HAVE YOUR THUMB IN IT!”

She goes, “I’m sorry sir, it’s just my thumb was cold”

I say, “ WHY DONT YOU SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!”

She responds, “I DO WHEN IM IN THE KITCHEN!”
*girl comes closer*

Me: “see I made you come with one finger, imagine two”
As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees a $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "5 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth,and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus-stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" bell, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up and screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!" The owner responds, "Genius, my ass......... It's the second time this week he's forgotten his keys!"
She slipped and grabbed her hand at the edge of an abyss.
Just recalled a saying "let your love leave, if returns, she is yours, otherwise, she belongs to someone else". So let her go, but didn't return after waiting several days. Bitch was someone else's.