A white horse fell in the mud.
Because they are all aquiver in the presence of a beau.
virgin mobile
They had read that a bird dog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They purchased a well-trained bird dog and headed home.

The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn’t work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn’t follow their commands.

They became frustrated and one of the blondes said to her friend, “Okay, we’ll give him one more try. We’ll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly, we’re taking him back to the store!”
“We’re in the ENDGAME now”
So he bought, nothing.
Buy vibrator from mall
A father is in for his daily check up, and the doctor comes back to him saying

“Everything seems to be good, anything troubling you?”

The father replies,”Well.... you see recently me and the wife have been having some trouble when we try to get it on, mostly it me not being able to keep up.”

The doctor thinking, then explains to the man that he could prescribe him a medicine to help him keep it up.

He explains,”That one of these oils before you are going to start and everything should be fine.”

The father thanks the doctor for his time. After leaving the office, he goes to pick up his medicine and returns home.

After getting home he decided to take the whole bottle.

A couple hours later, the doctor decides to call the house to make sure everything is going fine, but the son picks up the phone instead.

The doctor explains to him that he just gave him father some medicine and wanted to see how he was doing.

The son replies,”Well, my moms dead, my sister is pregnant, my butthole hurts, and the dog is cornered.”
Who cares.
They are great gamblers
Just be careful of the creepy guy in the corner with the video camera who hasn't moved all night who wants the make you famous on YouTube.
He was going to be leaving his young wife in their castle for who knows how long. He thought to himself: "I don't know how long i will be away but i need to make sure no one will have intercourse with my wife while i am away".

So he put a chastity belt on his wife & kept the key. He begged his wife to wait for him until he comes back. But he also thought what if he died while he was away, his wife will be lonely & will not be able to bear children. So he thought of a plan around this. He thought of his best friend, his childhood friend that he has always trusted. He thought to himself: "Ah, i will entrust this to him, in case i will not be able to return"

So he called his best friend and entrusted the key to him. He told him: "We have been best friends since we were little children & i trust you with my whole life, i have put a chastity belt on my wife so that no one can have intercourse with her and i am entrusting the key to you. In the event that i will not return, or if i have died in my conquest, you have my permission to use the key & make love to my wife."

His best friend accepted and told him: " this is an honor, i will uphold your wishes"

A few hours passed & the king left his kingdom for his conquest.

Shortly, he noticed someone was running behind him, he saw it was his best friend. He was surprised, and so he asked him:

King: What is the matter?

Best Friend: I think you gave me the wrong key
Me and her, respectively.
He then informed me Bubbles is out of prison and wants to visit me
John cena :